I decided to create a communist utopia in Fable 3. Actually, I probably shouldn’t use the word utopia as it suggests that I think it would be good, when in reality I have no idea, as I’ve never lived in one. Or a dystopia of any kind. (I don’t think.) I mean how many people need to be pissed off for it to fall in the latter category? 1 million? 1000? 100? If that’s the case then every time there’s a rail strike the whole of the UK descends into one. That and the contentious issue of using the VAR system to regulate football – how dare we use facts? Are people who are anti-VAR the flat earthers of football? I mean, it’s science and we all know science is smarter than all of us. Except theoretical computer science – that just thinks its cleverer than all of us when there would be no way to prove it as it’s all just theoretical and therefore, in my eyes, rubbish. If you don’t need to use a Petri dish, Bunsen burner or the weird hieroglyphic-looking functions on your calculator then it is clearly not science. (From someone who clearly failed GCSE science.)
As Fable 3 was actually the second Fable I ever played, something never sat right with me about the people of Bowerstone. Yes, a cute and somewhat charming little town, but ultimately it’s in a little Bowerstone bubble completely oblivious to the rest of the lands’ worries and woes and the frankly shocking things that go on in forests.
After being moderately good in Fable 2 I decided to up the ante in 3. I knew there were going to be some tough decisions to make in the game and, frankly, I don’t do well with Sophie’s Choices. I get frozen in the headlights of the 21st century just trying to choose a chocolate bar under the glare of a judgemental shopkeeper. Plus a Sophie’s Choice isn’t really two impossible choices both of which are awful, as it misses out the third and oft overlooked choice, which is sitting in the corner with your fingers in your ears and hoping everyone in the room will get bored and leave.